Feeling worried and anxious again? Would you love to get away from all those things that are bothering you and making you unhappy? Do the unpleasant thoughts you push to the back of your mind keep re-surfacing?
If this all sounds familiar, then what you are doing is not working. You need a different way of dealing with these issues.
Running away from problems won’t help you… They will not go away
Let’s think about some of those problems. Maybe you want to lose weight and you worry about what you eat. You have created a set of rules about what you can – and cannot – eat, but you do not always stick to them. Then you feel bad about yourself.
There are other things bothering you, too. For example, you have been putting off talking to someone you really need to speak to because you know that person will ask you to speak at one of the meetings you both attend. The idea of standing up and making a presentation to a room full of people fills you with fear so you keep avoiding the person you believe will ask you to speak.
There is something you need to recognise about these, and other, issues you are struggling with. They will not go away and you cannot put them to one side. That is because they are your issues. They belong to you. They are part of you.
Who is bringing these problems to you?
Running away from problems won’t help you… accept them, to change them
There’s no running away from problems you create for yourself. Therefore, stop running.
Accept that you want to lose weight and you have set rules you keep breaking and running away from. Remind yourself that if you do not feel good about the strategy you are using to achieve your goal, you will find it hard to apply. You are not obliged to follow those rules you have created. You can work out a different approach to weight loss that is more likely to work for you.
The same is true of your fear about speaking in public. Lots of people are afraid of speaking to an audience. Accept that you are afraid and stop running away from your fear by avoiding speaking opportunities. Think about how best to deal with your fears. Then take action.
Running away from problems won’t help you take control
Running away from problems does not put you in control.
It does not solve your problems because you cannot run away from yourself, your worries and your fears. However far you run and however fast you run, those worries will come with you.
Instead of wishing that things were different and that you were different, put yourself in charge of the situation. Take control of yourself and of your emotions because these are the elements of your life that you can control. Choose your destination and your route. If you want life to be different, adopt a different approach.
Stop running away from problems and the unpleasant situations you have created around you. Change what you are doing. You are the only one who can make your life better, so start improving things now.
Monica Varo is an integrative therapist. She helps her clients to become the people they always hoped they could be. Call her on 07772 467444 or contact her when you are ready to learn how to think more positively about your life today and in the future.