dealing with difficult situations and problems

Dealing with difficult situations and problems

Monica Varo Blog

Dealing with difficult situations and problems is something that we all need to do, sometimes.

We all have some easy things to deal with. Even some things that other people see as problems aren’t problems for us.

Then, there are the problems that just won’t go away. We try to solve them, worry about them. Although we work on them, they keep coming back. Whatever it is, it’s a problem that we know well and it has been with us for a long time.

We would like to deal with it, but how? Here are some suggestions when you’re dealing with difficult situations and problems.

1. Commit to doing Something Different

If you have been working in a particular way and trying strategies that haven’t worked for you, it’s important to recognise this. So far, you haven’t found the solution. Accept the situation.

If what you have been doing to date isn’t working, then the logical thing is to do something different. Be open to new ideas and different ways of working. You will make more progress if you make this change.

2. Remember to Value Yourself

Just because you haven’t managed to deal with the problem yet, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to deal with the problem in the future.

You are not a failure. There are lots of things that you do well. Don’t discount them because you are still looking for the right approach to solving this particular problem. You haven’t found it yet. That doesn’t mean that you won’t find it. Be patient and trust in yourself. You can do it.

3. Check if There Really is a Problem

You’ve convinced yourself that there is a problem, but are you sure it exists? Are you worrying about something that might happen? For example, are you worried about what will happen if you get ill? Are you concerned about what will happen if a loved one loses an important job? Or because of what might happen in the future?

Since you have no control over the future, do you really have a problem? If you’re concerned about what might happen, you’re creating a problem where none exists at the moment. If it doesn’t exist, there’s nothing you can do to solve it. So, move on.

4. Take Another Look at The Problem

When you are worrying about a problem, it’s easy to let the situation overwhelm you. That makes it more difficult to find a solution.

If you step outside yourself and imagine you are advising yourself, what might you say? Don’t be critical. Don’t tell yourself off. Just try to see the problem differently. Think about the problem without letting your emotions take control. Reassess the situation and rethink the way you have been working. Look at things as a stranger might.

Once you have given yourself permission to try out different solutions you may be able to see different ways forward.

5. Give Yourself Time

If you are trying to deal with a problem that has caused you to concern for some time, don’t expect to solve it immediately. Be satisfied if you get new insights if you come up with new ideas. Try them out. Check if you achieve better results. In the end, you will see a better way forward. Then you will be able to say goodbye to that nagging problem forever.

Monica Varo is an integrative therapist. She helps her clients to become the people they always hoped they could be. If you’d like her help, send her a message through

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    Read more: Do you believe in yourself?